Thursday, December 12, 2013

RSA Shorts - The Power of Empathy

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Elena Brower at Wanderlust's Speakeasy ~ Stratton, VT 2013 (Spiritual Partnership)

A woman's lowest calling is to seduce and separate man from his soul,
and leave him aimlessly wandering.
A woman's highest calling is to lead man to his soul and unite him with Source.
A man's lowest calling is to ambush and force way into life of woman.
A man's highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed.
~Cherokee Proverb

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Friday, November 15, 2013

Monday, November 11, 2013

Full Human

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

It's all about vibration..


Carl Jung - Face to Face [BBC - 1959]

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Friday, September 27, 2013

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I Ching - Hexagram 61 - Inner Truth

"A crane calls from the shade and her young answer with love.
My cup of life is filled to the brim.
Come share it with me.

This refers to the involuntary influence of a man's inner being upon persons of kindred spirit. The crane need not show itself on a high hill. It may be quite hidden when it sounds its call, yet its young will hear its note, will recognize it and give answer. Where there is a joyous mood, there a comrade will appear to share a glass of wine. 
This is the echo awakened in men through spiritual attraction. Whenever a feeling is voiced with truth and frankness, whenever a deed is the clear expression of sentiment, a mysterious and far-reaching influence is exerted. At first it acts on those who are inwardly receptive. But the circle grows larger and larger, the root and vigorous expression in word and deed, its effect is great. The effect is but the reflection of something that emanates from one's own heart."

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Now what needs to be done???

Honesty Exercise

Honesty Exercise
"So how can we find freedom from the lies we tell others and most importantly, ourselves? How do we dissolve limiting beliefs, which is really what lies are? We can begin by facing the truth of our traumas and documenting them with all the raw honesty and emotion that we’ve avoided for years. Clearing out our emotional closet can be terrifying at first, but once we survive what we didn’t think was survivable, we’ll get a taste of our limitless power to heal and change."

To accomplish this, here is a very effective writing exercise:
"In a quiet place, light a white candle and set a timer for 12 minutes. With pen in hand, begin to write stream-of-consciousness style about any unresolved issue with which you’ve not been honest with yourself or others. Let the emotions move you and don’t worry about making your writing legible. At the end of 12 minutes, stop. Don’t read what you’ve written! You’ve purged this negative energy and don’t want to take it back into your consciousness. Crunch the paper up and, in a safe place like a patio or barbeque grill, burn it. Fire is transformative and cleansing because it changes the chemical composition of things. Do this as often as needed to transmute the negative energy from similar situations."

"Why 12 minutes? It’s because 12 has great spiritual significance across nearly all belief systems. Most importantly, it symbolizes balance as there are 12 hours of day and night in each 24-hour period. There are also 12 months in a year, symbolizing the end of a cycle and renewal."

from Dr. Habib Sadeghi: the Founder of Be Hive of Healing Center for Integrative Medicine in Los Angeles. His book, "Within: A Spiritual Awakening to Love & Weight Loss", is forthcoming.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Great advice for relationships..

Found this post on Facebook - worth a read..very touching and true.  I believe the same goes for women, not only men.  It takes two: 
"Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 37 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to ma...rry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds... Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him 'I do', and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.  Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about."

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Friday, July 26, 2013


"Real motivation most often comes not from seductive words promising us the fruition of our dreams, but rather from within, from facing ourselves more honestly. This takes deep questioning, looking, listening, feeling, and sensing; it takes presence. What is perceived through presence, which includes not just the great beauty and mystery of our lives but also our many forms of lying, self-deception, and mechanicalness, is often uncomfortable and difficult to bear, but such presence, the conscious immediacy of all the levels and dimensions of ourselves, lies at the very core of who we are. Presence, intimate consciousness, is itself the wondrous miracle of being."--Dennis Lewis


Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Sunday, July 21, 2013

LOVE 2.0 (new book from Dr. Barbara Fredrickson)

I'm currently reading a new book: "Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become," 10 lessons from this book from the author, Dr. Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D.:
1. It can be hard to talk about love in scientific terms because people have strong pre-existing ideas about it.
The vision of love that emerges from the latest science requires a radical shift. I learned that I need to ask people to step back from their current views of love long enough to consider it from a different perspective: their body's perspective. Love is not romance. It's not sexual desire. It's not even that special bond you feel with family or significant others.
And perhaps most challenging of all, love is neither lasting nor unconditional. The radical shift we need to make is this: Love, as your body experiences it, is a micro-moment of connection shared with another.
2. Love is not exclusive.
We tend to think of love in the same breath as loved ones. When you take these to be only your innermost circle of family and friends, you inadvertently and severely constrain your opportunities for health, growth and well-being.
In reality, you can experience micro-moments of connection with anyone -- whether your soul mate or a stranger. So long as you feel safe and can forge the right kind of connection, the conditions for experiencing the emotion of love are in place.
3. Love doesn't belong to one person.
We tend to think of emotions as private events, confined to one person's mind and skin. Upgrading our view of love defies this logic. Evidence suggests that when you really "click" with someone else, a discernible yet momentary synchrony emerges between the two of you, as your gestures and biochemistries, even your respective neural firings, come to mirror one another in a pattern I call positivity resonance. Love is a biological wave of good feeling and mutual care that rolls through two or more brains and bodies at once.
4. Making eye contact is a key gateway for love.
Your body has the built-in ability to "catch" the emotions of those around you, making your prospects for love -- defined as micro-moments of positivity resonance -- nearly limitless. As hopeful as this sounds, I also learned that you can thwart this natural ability if you don't make eye contact with the other person. Meeting eyes is a key gatekeeper to neural synchrony.
5. Love fortifies the connection between your brain and your heart, making you healthier.
Decades of research show that people who are more socially connected live longer and healthier lives. Yet precisely how social ties affect health has remained one of the great mysteries of science.
My research team and I recently learned that when we randomly assign one group of people to learn ways to create more micro-moments of love in daily live, we lastingly improve the function of the vagus nerve, a key conduit that connects your brain to your heart. This discovery provides a new window into how micro-moments of love serve as nutrients for your health.
6. Your immune cells reflect your past experiences of love.
Too often, you get the message that your future prospects hinge on your DNA. Yet the ways that your genes get expressed at the cellular level depends mightily on many factors, including whether you consider yourself to be socially connected or chronically lonely.
My team is now investigating the cellular effects of love, testing whether people who build more micro-moments of love in daily life also build healthier immune cells.
7. Small emotional moments can have disproportionately large biological effects.
It can seem surprising that an experience that lasts just a micro-moment can have any lasting effect on your health and longevity. Yet I learned that there's an important feedback loop at work here, an upward spiral between your social and your physical well-being.
That is, your micro-moments of love not only make you healthier, but being healthier builds your capacity for love. Little by little, love begets love by improving your health. And health begets health by improving your capacity for love.
8. Don't take a loving marriage for granted.
Writing this book has profoundly changed my personal view of love. I used to uphold love as that constant, steady force that all but defines my marriage. While that constant, steady force still exists, I now see our bond as a product of the many micro-moments of positivity resonance that my husband and I have shared over the years. This shakes me out of any complacency that tempts me to take our love for granted. Love is something we should re-cultivate every single day.
9. Love and compassion can be one and the same.
If we reimagine love as micro-moments of shared positivity, it can seem like love requires that you always feel happy. I learned that this isn't true. You can experience a micro-moment of love even as you or the person with whom you connect suffers.
Love doesn't require that you ignore or suppress negativity. It simply requires that some element of kindness, empathy or appreciation be added to the mix. Compassion is the form love takes when suffering occurs.
10. Simply upgrading your view of love changes your capacity for it.
The latest science offers new lenses through which to see your every interaction. The people I interviewed for the book shared incredibly moving stories about how they used micro-moments of connection to make dramatic turnarounds in their personal and work lives.
One of the most hopeful things I learned is that when people take just a minute or so each day to think about whether they felt connected and attuned to others, they initiate a cascade of benefits. And this is something you could start doing today, having learned even just this much more about how love works.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

What if we all love each other

Watermelon, Tomato and Feta Cheese Salad Recipe

This is a great recipe for a refreshing summer salad for hot summer days from my dear friend, Jennifer Iserloh, a.k.a. the Skinny Chef.  Easy, simple and delicious.  Enjoy!!   You can also top it with one of her new Superfood Sauces that she launched (pictured at the bottom and can be ordered online).  

Serves: 4
    • 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
    • 1 tablespoon olive oil
    • 1 small shallot, minced
    • 4 cups seedless watermelon chunks, diced or thinly sliced
    • 1 pound assorted tomatoes, Heirloom varieties if available, sliced
    • 4 ounces feta cheese, crumbled
    • 1 jalapeño, some seeds removed, thinly sliced
In a large bowl combine the vinegar, olive oil, and shallot. Whisk until smooth. Toss in the watermelon, tomatoes, feta, and jalapeño to coat, serve immediately.

Read more:

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Attention as an Art Form

[Learning how to think] means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to, and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. --David Foster Wallace 

Attention as an Art Form
 --by Viral Mehta, syndicated from, Aug 22, 2011

185 billion bits of information.  In an average lifetime, this is what the human brain is capable of processing; according to the famous psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi: "It is out of this total that everything in our life must come -- every thought, memory, feeling or action. It seems like a huge amount, but in reality it does not go that far." With any limited resource, the fact that it's in short supply can quickly create a feeling of scarcity. But it can also snap us back to attention and foster wise use. In what "Time Magazine" dubbed as one of the best commencement speeches ever, the late author, David Foster Wallace, went as far as to say that honing this skill is the truest purpose of education. He said that "learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to, and to choose how you construct meaning from experience." It comes down to working with the core property of human experience -- attention, which can be broken down into four key aspects: 1. Awareness: As I sit here, I see the wind rustling through the leaves, remember a pleasant memory of camping in the woods, hear the faint sounds of jazz music float in from next door and feel the slight tension in my hamstring ease. All of these things are happening simultaneously. To some extent, I'm aware of them, but when I consciously tune into them, more things keep bubbling up. In a sense, my experience in any moment is totally defined by my level of awareness. "The unconscious parts of the mind are most of the mind," David Brooks writes in his book "Social Animal." "[And these parts have] a processing capacity 200,000 times greater than the conscious mind." That line between conscious and sub-conscious isn't fixed. By sharpening my ability to notice all that is happening around and within me, I can make more and more things conscious. This sharpening is like using a muscle -- the more I use it, the stronger it grows. 2. Choice: With the things I am conscious of, am I actually taking them into meaningful account, learning from them and willing to make more informed decisions based on them? Attention is part intention and part habit. We tend to think of freedom as being the ability to choose our actions, but at a subtler level it's about choosing what we pay attention to and how. The trick is to maintain a cool and fluid objectivity that allows us to move on from moment to moment, without getting bogged down by any aspect of our experience. So on the one hand, a conscious cultivation of awareness results in heightened perception, but then we also recognize that we have the ability to both engage with something or seamlessly move on. As the movie "Waking Life" suggests, "The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure, while always arriving." 3. Engagement: Paradoxically, the more consciously our attention can flow unimpeded, the deeper our ability to engage, since we're no longer compelled by the siren song of distraction. Microsoft Ex-Vice President, Linda Stone, coined the term "continuous partial attention," referring to a state in which we constantly and impulsively fragment our attention. In this state of fragmentation, we gain breadth at the cost of depth, and trade in quality for quantity. But we can flip the pattern at any time. As we invest more fully in our present experience, we move from a passive interest to an active curiosity to full engagement and finally to enchantment. We've breathed magic into everyday moments, realizing that, in the words of Henry David Thoreau, "To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts." 4. Flow: Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Once we are aware, have explicitly made a choice to tune in meaningfully and have infused a fullness into the experience, we can actually string together a bunch of such moments. As activist Lynne Twist says, "what we appreciate, appreciates" -- so the more we concentrate on something, the more it expands in our consciousness. Take a simple example of listening to a friend. Just by continuously pouring our attention into that experience, I perceive the words more richly, I see her reality more clearly, and consequently can interact in the conversation more effectively. So this continuity of attention allows me to more deeply experience and value what is already in front of me, and immerse myself into the actual flow of reality. Every moment affords an opportunity to start paying attention, and as I do, I realize its gift. First and foremost, it is a gift to my own self, bringing me back to a place of inner alignment. Then, as I start to benefit from it, I can gift it to others. And finally, it is a gift that takes me beyond my own limited notions of identity and self-interest. It can all begin right now, just with an intention to be aware. That increased awareness opens up windows of choice, and as I start to make more informed choices, I deepen the quality of my experience. In making this a continuous effort, I evolve from unconscious processing, to subconscious registering, to conscious awareness, to engaged learning; or, from data to information to knowledge to wisdom. Instead of just going with the flow, I can actually grow with the flow.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Simple Technique to Heal and Release Pain and Trauma

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh It’s extremely simple and can be done anytime, anywhere and in virtually any circumstance. The following is my translation and is not verbatim. As Hanh teaches, however, it’s not the words that matter but our commitment to, and intention behind the practice. So with that being said, I’ve broken it down to seven simple steps for you. 1. Whenever you become aware of negative thoughts and emotions arising, rather than ignoring them, or setting them aside for later, identify, acknowledge, and honor them. 2. Become very clear on what the specific upset is by identifying the exact thoughts that are bothering you. Are they self-judging, bad memories, or anxiety about future events? Any thought that causes dis-ease in you, regardless of past, present or future is applicable. 3. Next, indentify the specific emotions that arise in you as a result of said thoughts. What do they feel like? Is there tightening in your chest? Is your stomach turning or is there a throbbing sensation in your head? Again, any emotion that causes dis-ease is applicable. 4. Once you’ve clearly identified the thought(s) and emotion(s), close your eyes and explore the imagery they subsequently create in your mind (once you’re familiar with the practice, you won’t always need to close your eyes—i.e., if you’re driving, or in public you can still do this.) Do the thoughts and emotions create colors, shapes, figures? Are they abstract or clear? The important thing is to let your thoughts and emotions create the imagery while you simply become aware of what they are. 5. Breathe. We’re at the half way mark and I’d like to offer you a sincere congratulations on completing the first half! Our natural tendency is to suppress these uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, often telling ourselves that we’ll deal with them later—but honestly, does later ever come? Unfortunately for most of us, it never does. So even just by taking the time to become conscious of, and identify these unpleasant thoughts and emotions is a huge step! Let’s not stop there however, because here’s where the really good stuff starts to happen. 6. This step is where everything begins to change! Once you have the mental images of what your thoughts and emotions look like (and even if there’s no image at all, this practice still works), picture yourself holding the image (or lack thereof) in the same way a mother holds a newborn baby. Picture the image of your painful thought and emotion wrapped in a warm blanket, being held with very loving care closely to your heart, your chest, as you extend it very sincere compassion from your heart center. (You can also use the imagery of wrapping the thought/emotion in a warm blanket and placing it in a baby carriage, and rocking the carriage back and forth.) 7. Next, mentally (or verbally) say to the image that you know it’s there and you promise to care for and hold it with compassion until it’s ready to go. Do your best to say these words from a very sincere place in your heart. Through bringing our attention to the image of our painful thoughts and emotions, and tending to it with an open heart, we’re doing the most natural thing we can—expressing love. Instead of ostracizing our uncomfortable thoughts and emotions and their unpleasant effects, we show them pure, complete and inclusive love. It’s a love they’ve never known before, and a love many of us have never known before either. The thoughts and emotions will often subside very quickly. Sometimes, however, they aren’t ready to go so fast, and that’s fine. When we initially told them we’d be with them as long as they needed us, we were sincere in that intention. So if/when the thoughts and emotions call us on it, we honor our words and hold them dearly in our heart for as long as it takes. So that’s the practice. It truly is that simple and I’m forever grateful to Thich Nhat Hanh for the amazing results I’ve had with it in my life. This practice can be used on everyday minor things all the way to heavier memories of our most difficult life experiences. It’s all relevant, it’s all grist for the mill and it can all be healed. from

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Monday, May 13, 2013

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Friday, April 5, 2013

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Declaration to Myself (Read, Print and Sign). Refer to Often.


Be conscious of yourself, watch your mind,
give it your full attention. Don’t look for quick results, there may be none within your noticing.
Unknown to you, your psyche will undergo a change,
there will be more clarity in your thinking and feeling,
purity in your behavior.
You need not aim at these - you will witness the change all the same.

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Sunday, March 24, 2013

IF by Rudyard Kipling

Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

3 Quick Tips on How to Close an Integrity Gap


"In our society, mainly concerned with production and efficiency, the drama is that our capacity for questioning, still so vivid in early childhood, is very quickly eradicated or pushed aside for the benefit of our capacity for answering. When a child has a real question, most of the time he is immediately given a stupid answer. In the best cases the educator goes to the dictionary to be sure his answer is accurate. But anyhow unconsciously, if not proudly, he closes the question. From school to the end of our life it is always necessary to answer. We are compelled to learn how to answer. If we don't know how to answer, we are just no good. So little by little we become some kind of model machine able-to-answer-to-all-situations with all the necessary blindness as regards its own contradictions. That kind of answering, whose degree of sophistication may sometimes hide from us its conditioned character, is required by our life. But under its dominating necessity, is it possible to keep alive in ourselves our most authentic and precious capacity, which is questioning?"

from "Man's Ever New and Eternal Challenge,"
Dr. Michel de Salzmann's chapter in On the Way to Self Knowledge,
Jacob Needleman and Dennis Lewis, editors, Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 1976.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Genius Advice

Just a few famous quotes and personal thoughts on living the happiest, most fulfilling life possible…

1.  Living and Speaking Your Truth

“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion.  Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”  ―Franz Kafka
The second most courageous thing you can do is to think for yourself.  The number one most courageous thing you can do is to think for yourself out loud, especially when others try to suppress your thoughts with their own.  When you stick to your guns and think and speak freely, some people will become irritated, put you down, and walk away.  You may lose a few friends and lovers.  But you after a short time you’ll realize that you don’t even miss these people; and just as you start realizing this, new people will show up in your life who cherish your opinions and respect your thoughts.
Above all, remember that your silence will not save you; it will haunt you for an eternity.  Stand strong.  Think for yourself.  Speak your truth.  Read 1,000 Little Things

2.  Perfectionism

“If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.”  ―Leo Tolstoy
Every one of us is a perfectionist about something.  Learn to sense when your desire to make something perfect is preventing you from getting it done.  Realize that the idea of perfection is not only unachievable, it can destroy your otherwise productive mindset.  It will keep you running in place, feeling insane for your entire life.
If you feel like you’re running in place right now, take a break and reflect.  Think about the difference between diligent effort and perfectionism.  Know when enough is enough.  Say it out loud if you must:  “Get lost perfectionism!  Without you I am brilliant!”

3.  Spending Time with Positive People

“An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.”  ―Brian Tracy
Some people will be critical of you regardless of what you do or how well you do it.  If you say you want to be a dancer, they will discredit your rhythm.  If you say you want to build a new business, they will give you a dozen reasons why it might not work.  They somehow assume you don’t have what it takes, but they are dead wrong.
It’s a lot easier to be negative than positive – a lot easier to be critical than correct.  When you’re embarking on a new venture, instead of listening to the few critics that will try to discredit you, spend time talking to one of the millions of people in this world who are willing support your efforts and acknowledge your potential.  Read Emotional Freedom.

4.  Conquering Fear

“In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong.”  ―Charles Dickens
The only possible way to never fail is to never do anything at all – which isn’t living, it’s dying.
Your doubts and fears are your greatest enemies.  They automatically make you forfeit your victories by convincing you not to make any attempt at all.  Realize the irony here.  When you run from your fears, all you’re really doing is taking a shortcut directly too them – you’re giving up and wasting away without any chance for success and happiness.

5.  Self-Belief

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.”  ―Theodore Roosevelt
In life, it is helpful to be able to persuade others, but the only person you absolutely need to convince is yourself.  Unless you sincerely convince yourself of something, no amount of persuasion of anyone else will move you forward.
The number one thing you need to convince yourself of is that you CAN do whatever you seek to accomplish.  If there are skills you must have, you can learn them.  If there are resources you need, you can locate them.  Your beliefs and commitments drive possibility into otherwise difficult situations.  Convince yourself to achieve, and you will find a way to get there.  Read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

6.  Finding the Right Partner

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”  ―Donald Miller
If you’re still searching for the perfect partner, stop.  There’s no such thing.  There are only different flavors of imperfect ones.  In fact, you are just as imperfect as the partner you seek.  You simply need to find someone whose imperfections complement your own.
This process doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes a lot of living to grow into the realization of your own imperfections.  It takes lots of life experience before you bump into your deepest inner demons, your greatest flaws, and all the idiosyncrasies that make you, YOU.  And it’s only after you meet these imperfect parts of yourself that you know who you are looking for – someone whose scars and flaws fit your own – someone who’s imperfect in the perfect way for you.

7.  Self-imposed Limitations

“Everything you can imagine is real.”  ―Pablo Picasso
We’re all part of a great universe far larger than ourselves.  Each of us is merely a small fraction of this living, breathing whole.  You may experience yourself as being different, separate from the rest, when you are in fact a very connected element of this whole.  Denying this fact restricts your potential to the finite space around you – the people, places, and resources within your immediate reach.
Your greatest task in life is to keep your mind unshackled and free from this limiting mindset.  Broaden your horizons, accept your oneness with the world around you, and connect with the infinite possibilities that await your attention.

8.  Excuses

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.”  ―George Washington
The biggest problem standing between you and your goal is the sorry excuse you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.  Sure, a believable excuse may enable you to save face in the short-term, to appear more diligent than you know you are, but eventually this lie will catch up to you.  The question you should be asking yourself is:  “Do I want to seem successful to someone else, or do I want to know in my heart that I am?”
You deserve more than a life filled with empty excuses.  Don’t settle for a growing list of reasons for failure.  You can just as easily give yourself real, undeniable reasons to succeed.  Choose to make honest, authentic progress.  Even a tiny effort is infinitely more productive than a grandiose excuse.

9.  Procrastination

“You may delay, but time will not.”  ―Benjamin Franklin
It’s time to get up and make an immediate difference in your life.  You know all those things you’ve been meaning to get done for the past month, year, etc.?  Pick one right now and start doing it.  Get your hands dirty, challenge your brain, get sweaty if you have to.  Break out of your comforting lull and get involved.  If you feel crummy, it’ll make you feel better.  If you already feel good, it will make you feel great.
Life is far more fulfilling when you participate in making positive things happen.  The moment you take positive action, your outlook begins to change.  When you notice that you’re making real progress on goals that matter to you, the world is suddenly a much more enjoyable place to live in.  Read Eat That Frog!

10.  Solitude

“I have to be alone very often.  I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone.  That’s how I refuel.”  ―Audrey Hepburn
You need alone time sometimes, because when you’re in solitude you’re free from obligations and external pressures.  You’re free to be YOU without being fancy and putting on a show.  You’re able to hear your own thoughts and follow them sincerely.
Go ahead and find a quiet place.  Stretch your boundaries.  Explore places you’ve never been.  Go so far away from what you know that you stop being afraid of the unfamiliar.
Cherish your time alone.  Take long walks and drives by yourself.  Watch sunsets and sunrises silently in peace.  Teach yourself something new.  Read books.  Write poetry.  Sing along to your favorite songs.  Check your instincts and follow them on your own time, without third party influence.  Decide if fitting in is more important than discovering who you truly are and what you’re here to do.

What I'm working on now...Knowing Your Shadow

Our shadow side contains the emotions and desires we've disowned, neglected, or hidden from ourselves. If not skillfully worked with, it can easily direct our lives on every level. In this new program, Robert shows us how to illuminate and wisely engage with the endarkened aspects of who we are.

Some of the areas covered by Robert on Knowing Your Shadow:
  • Discovering and cultivating intimacy with the endarkened aspects of yourself
  • Identifying and healing your core wounds
  • Working effectively with anger, fear, shame, guilt, and other difficult emotions
  • Understanding how your shadow influences those around you, often beyond conscious awareness
  • Guided practices, meditations, and exercises for developing more authenticity and wholeness in your personal and workplace relationships, your sexuality, and your spiritual path

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


by Thich Nhat Hanh

Most of us experience a life full of wonderful moments and difficult moments. But for many of us, even when we are most joyful, there is fear behind our joy. We fear that this moment will end, that we won’t get what we need, that we will lose what we love, or that we will not be safe. Often, our biggest fear is the knowledge that one day our bodies will cease functioning. So even when we are surrounded by all the conditions for happiness, our joy is not complete.

We may think that if we ignore our fears, they’ll go away. But if we bury worries and anxieties in our consciousness, they continue to affect us and bring us more sorrow. We are very afraid of being powerless. But we have the power to look deeply at our fears, and then fear cannot control us. We can transform our fear. Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

The first part of looking at our fear is just inviting it into our awareness without judgment. We just acknowledge gently that it is there. This brings a lot of relief already. Then, once our fear has calmed down, we can embrace it tenderly and look deeply into its roots, its sources. Understanding the origins of our anxieties and fears will help us let go of them. Is our fear coming from something that is happening right now or is it an old fear, a fear from when we were small that we’ve kept inside? When we practice inviting all our fears up, we become aware that we are still alive, that we still have many things to treasure and enjoy. If we are not pushing down and managing our fear, we can enjoy the sunshine, the fog, the air, and the water. If you can look deep into your fear and have a clear vision of it, then you really can live a life that is worthwhile.

The Buddha was a human being, and he also knew fear. But because he spent each day practicing mindfulness and looking closely at his fear, when confronted with the unknown, he was able to face it calmly and peacefully. There is a story about a time the Buddha was out walking and Angulimala, a notorious serial killer, came upon him. Angulimala shouted for the Buddha to stop, but the Buddha kept walking slowly and calmly. Angulimala caught up with him and demanded to know why he hadn’t stopped. The Buddha replied, “Angulimala, I stopped a long time ago. It is you who have not stopped.” He went on to explain, “I stopped committing acts that cause suffering to other living beings. All living beings want to live. All fear death. We must nurture a heart of compassion and protect the lives of all beings.” Startled, Angulimala asked to know more. By the end of the conversation, Angulimala vowed never again to commit violent acts and decided to become a monk.

How could the Buddha remain so calm and relaxed when faced with a murderer? This is an extreme example, but each of us faces our fears in one way or another every day. A daily practice of mindfulness can be of enormous help. Beginning with our breath, beginning with awareness, we are able to meet whatever comes our way.

Fearlessness is not only possible, it is the ultimate joy. When you touch nonfear, you are free. If I am ever in an airplane and the pilot announces that the plane is about to crash, I will practice mindful breathing. If you receive bad news, I hope you will do the same. But don’t wait for the critical moment to arrive before you start practicing to transform your fear and live mindfully. Nobody can give you fearlessness. Even if the Buddha were sitting right here next to you, he couldn’t give it to you. You have to practice it and realize it yourself. If you make a habit of mindfulness practice, when difficulties arise, you will already know what to do.

--Thich Nhat Hanh

Thursday, January 31, 2013

60 minute meditation course with Alan Finger

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Tuesday, January 22, 2013